“We dream in our waking moments,
and walk in our sleep.”
In order to see the sun shine,
we have to be able to live
during the day
To feel its warmth,
we must remember
that sleep is for the night,
as is dreaming
For if we are too distracted
by the deep fear in our minds
that latches onto our weaknesses,
and the heaviness of disappointment in our hearts,
we will ignore the opportunities we have been given
And the sun will be forgotten,
and our coldness will grow,
until we can no longer feel it
And we will become accustomed
to the lonely night
and its false shine
And we will trick ourselves into believing
that the world has always been this dark,
and that the sun has always been so distant,
and pale,
and empty,
just like us.
This poem was inspired by a quote from the novel The Scarlet Letter by Nathaniel Hawthorne. I have always liked writing about night time, probably because I tend to enjoy the night rather than the day myself. Of course I love the feeling of sunlight and seeing a bright blue sky, but I also love being awake when it feels like the rest of the world is asleep. It is during the first of the morning hours when the sky is still dark that I am able to think freely about things that I have been worrying about, as well as the things I may be too afraid to acknowledge during the day. I understand that this isn’t exactly the healthiest lifestyle, which is why I wrote about not wanting to lose the warmth of the daytime. This is something that I actually am worried about. I have become so comfortable with the loneliness of the night that sometimes I do wish the day wouldn’t come so soon so that I could stay in the safety of darkness and silence. I don’t always feel this way, but I feel like it was an interesting place to write from. I also enjoy writing about the differences of the sun and the moon, so it was already something I was used to writing about. Hopefully, I’ll be able to go outside of my comfort zone and explore different topics for my next piece.
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Dear Kayla,
This was such a beautiful poem and I found myself personally relating to this as I am also a night owl and stay up way too long. My favorite line from this was “And the sun will be forgotten, and our coldness will grow, until we can no longer feel it And we will become accustomed to the lonely night and its false shine” I found that the description was so amazing and unique to your writing.
One thing that I would suggest is trying to make your poems a little longer because I felt that the ending was a little abrupt and that you could have added more depth to your poem. Other then that this poem was truly so beautiful and great example of your talent as a writer.
Sincerely,
Aliza
Dearest Kayla,
I am so so humbled by your explication. It was so well done – as well as your poem! This concept of light and opportunity v.s. dark and loneliness is so fascinating; in fact, it really made me think about my own habits and how different my life would be if I didn’t stay up so much.
In terms of improvement, I would suggest to include more thoughtful punctuation within your poem and add my variety coming in and out of stanzas. For example, I loved your use of anaphora, but I think if you went back and forth it would be more effective.
Overall, this is amazing and I loved it!
Much love,
Liza